Dear Harrison,

I felt so sad hearing you speak over the phone. You sound so sian every time I talk to you... and the worst part is, I don't even know how to help you.

This reminds me of the time back in mid-J2 after we broke up. One evening after studying at the library I came to look for you at the council bench. Suddenly I just burst into tears saying that I felt no motivation to study at all. I couldn't find the reason for studying and attempting to do well. Getting good grades just means getting into a good university and the course of my choice; after that it's on to getting a good job and leading a happy life, blahblahblah. It bored me, and I didn't want that to be the reason why I should study. Everything was so bleak too... I didn't do well for block test 2 and there was just too much content I didn't understand. Every mock paper that I tried to do, I couldn't finish half. And those questions I thought I knew how to answer, I got them wrong. It was overwhelming. And I felt like giving up...

So I came to you. You were busy studying, I remember... I was asking myself if I should be looking for you since you did break up with me so you could focus on your studies. But there wasn't really anyone else I could turn to. I don't think anyone would understand me like you did. And you had seen me cry so many times until you probably wouldn't find it weird anymore if I cried in front of you. (You know me -- I hate crying in front of anyone else.)

And you talked to me. You just spent time listening to me and letting me say whatever I wanted to say. The best thing wasn't actually what you said to me, but the fact that you were there physically just for me to say something to and to see you respond to me.

I want to help you, dear. I know it's not easy over there. I think I'd break too, having stupid men yell at me all day. But you can't break. No. Your going there is not just for yourself. It's for everyone who believes in you. For your family. For your peers. For your superiors. For me. You have so much to prove to everyone around you too. To prove that you're more than just a Chinese dude who can speak pretty decent English. So you can't break. God forbid you should ever give up.

Take everything one step at a time. It'll surely help you if you keep everything in perspective. Set small goals for yourself. Keep yourself occupied. Everything will work out fine. You need to believe that. You need to believe in yourself. You can do this.

Give me a call whenever you're free. I can't be there in person, but I'll do my best to tide you through your year in the UK. I promise.

Love,
Claire