看了“翻滚吧，蛋炒饭！”之后感触良多，不知道是不是因为自己失恋不久，所以觉得自己似乎能理解戏中的情节。感觉在爱情中赢家似乎常常都是女性，男主角不停地追，而女主角只需要做个决定，虽然要决定并不容易，但看着男主角不惜时间，金钱，甚至生命地为女主角付出，有时道会问问自己这样值得吗？也许吧！咳！越看就越烦。。。

好久沒用汉语打字了！看了八频道的连续剧过后，突然觉得自己的华文程度越来越差了！这也说得过去，在国外没什么机会用汉语沟通，应该多写写“布罗格”。彭欣！不知道你是否还有继续到这里来，或者是用这个“布罗格”。谢谢你今天抽空和我在网上交谈，不知道是不是被连续剧影响，但我非常向往新加坡的夜景，也非常回味以前在河畔毫无犹豫得散步。虽然离回国的时间不远，但感觉却不同了。。。

随传随到。。。就这么难吗？是的，因为工作，因为失业，我们多数都得牺牲生命中一些较重要的东西，必如嗜好，朋友，爱情。失去了爱情，一直以为都没问题，可是慢慢的，心里似乎空虚了，不知道为什么会有一种心酸的感觉，也许是想家，想朋友吧！好了别想了！五个星期！加油加油！

Saturday night, two days before Ex Dynamic Victory. Stuck here in the academy, watching Channel 8 dramas, interesting method in spending a Saturday night, although I should make better use of time, i.e packing my room, titivating my Personal Statement. But the lethargy is hitting me, better go to bed soon.

33 more days to commissioning, although there are less days than weeks left, it still seems pretty draggy. STAY POSITIVE Harrison!! Let's go Exercise DV!:D

5 more weeks to the end of course. The idea of who is going to win the sword and who has done well seems to be really obvious at this point. Yet again, I have done above average yet not there yet, but not good enough to be in the race for the title of the "Overseas Sword". Same in OCS, same in Sandhurst.

But does that really matter? Does the SOH or the Overseas Sword really matter that much? Am I even the right place to even say that it does or doesn't? If I were to agree with the former, then why did I not work harder to mingle with the Brits a little more? If I were to agree with the latter, would I still be blogging or rather lamenting about this?

I guess it all then boils down to the very reason I chose the military as a career; to develop people, the allow their 2 years in NS to be memorable. And I stick to that, my passion for nurturing my men still exist, and I guess dealing with all this are just part and parcel of life. If its meant to be, it will be. Same in a relationship, same with the SOH or the Overseas Sword.

All I can do now is to wish him all the best and that he will get the sword and do Singapore proud.

Back to this week then, preparation for March and Shoot, and then really doing it yesterday. Although we came in 5th for the March and Shoot, we still got second in the overall Sovereign's Banner Competition. Further proves my point that if its yours, its yours! We have been a good platoon, doing what needs to be done, but never eyeing for the top place to exceedingly well in the Sovereign's Banner Competition, yet we were able to top some of the competition (academic mainly), and still come second.

Right enough rambling about the Sovereign's Banner, but key lessons that I have learnt from the March and Shoot was how realistic it was in creating how we would feel physically in a combat environment, adding the sense of realism to the competition. We realized how difficult it was to shoot well when we were fatigued and how important it was to pace ourselves as leaders in 5 weeks' time. Some of us gave our all and had nothing else to give at the last leg towards the range, yet as leaders I think we will always have to leave that "reserve" just in case something goes wrong, or rather if things do not go according to plan.

The build up of grit and mental fortitude was seen and experienced in the entire platoon as well. Well done to 3 platoon!

One more reflection, our CABs tutor gave us each an A5 laminated paper of the key principles of leadership, and reminders that we can use as officers. It came as a surprise, and I respect him for his commitment and passion for teaching and nurturing. He is not young anymore, yet he is willing to always put in that extra effort to teach us that little bit more, preparing us better for our role as an officership. Hopefully we can learn and be like him, having that passion in us even as we age, keeping that goal in mind and constantly working towards it. Thank you Mr Kennedy!

to dearest Harrison...

i don't know if you'll still read this blog or continue using it to record your exercises and reflections during your time at Sandhurst. But there is one thing that I would like to say.

That night when we had dinner together at One Rochester, and you surprised me with that birthday dessert, I made a real birthday wish for the first time in my life. I have never really known what i'd wish for every time i blow out the candles on my birthday cake. So it was just random stuff that I never really meant, or whatever I could think of at the moment, like doing well for 'A' levels for example. But that night, I knew. I knew exactly what I wanted, and the most ironic thing was that it wasn't even for me.

I wished that you'll be happy in the future, no matter whether I'm with you or not. You're one of the most amazing guys to be with that I've ever met, and I'll never forget or regret the times we've spent together. So embrace the future, Harrison,  and find your happiness. May you always make the best out of your situation, and find joy in everything that you do. May you find true love where it exists, and may love find you and keep you.

Yours, Claire.

One more week left till the end of Inters, cannot wait for it to be over really. Despite a daily routine of getting up at 0600 and getting to bed at about 2230, the fatigue after 13 weeks is undoubtedly taking its toll on most of us. However, things always seem to fly past at hindsight. It felt like it was just yesterday that I stepped back into New College after 3 weeks of Recess, unpacking my room and getting ready for Ex Royal Return. Then getting into a routine of lessons for two weeks before going on Ex First Encounter, where I have dug for the longest time yet, and getting dressed in 4 Romeo under the heat of summer, which I should be used to. Once Worst Encounter was done, we were thrown into the Faraday Hall stretch, with loads of essay and presentation to work on, and of course gym sessions to relieve the academic stress in the evenings. Not long after came Ex Druid's Ridge in Week 9, getting transported back to Wales in Brecon Beacons. It was a good exercise with a good mix of conventional and urban operations, the rainy weather made it just that much more memorable. Coming back from Ex Druid's Ridge saw us pushing on to France for Ex Normandy Scholar, of course there were build up lessons to prevent it from being a wasted trip. 

Back from Normandy Scholar, the Brits are pushed into preparing for their Regimental Selection Board while we, the overseas cadets just take the schedule as it goes. That was Week 12 done, not forgetting the emotional ACFT, a 1.5 mile run with 21kg, to end the week with a bang. 

A leave weekend in London allowed me to take a break from Sandhurst and then it was Log Race first thing in Week 13. Here we are, nearing the end of Week 13, pushing forward to Week 14 with loads of drill kit to prepare, loads of rehearsals for the Sovereign's Parade, all of course looking forward to the end, the 10th of August when a four weeks recess starts, allowing us to recuperate (hopefully), before throwing ourselves into the last 14 weeks-SENIOR TERM.

End of Ex Druid's Ridge, peer appraisal time. As the British Cadets are gearing up for their Regimental Selection Boards, an interview that decides how the rest of their army career will be shaped, the overseas cadets are just wishing them all the best for their interviews, in hope that they will commission into the cap badge of their choice. However, I want to do well myself, I want to be maintain my place in the middle third. Despite wanting to help them by placing them in a better place in the peer appraisals (not saying its difficult to differentiate between the good and and the average), I would like myself to be placed in a suitable place such that I still stand a chance to compete for the sword. Self conscious, selfish, maybe, I just feel that I have got so much pressure to do well, I did work hard for the exercise, but most of the command appointments were given to the UK cadets. For Singaporeans to be the first and second amongst all overseas cadets, that is my wish and I have been working hard towards it. Maybe its too early to talk about all of these, but the fact that the Intermediate is ending is not helping, knowing that there is not much time for me to prove myself and before I know it, the decision as to who are the better ones will have to be made.

Platoon Commander always say that he needs more from me, for me to be more vocal in the platoon. What does that mean? Alot of times I find people throwing themselves at the PC so that a better impression could be formed. And with no doubt are these rankings and appraisals done on first impressions, superficial you might say but the truth is many a times ugly.

Enough of ranting, let's gear up for the Inters Navex tomorrow and hopefully that helps in the rankings of some of us.